#12| Creature Comforts

Life is made up of habits. Think about it. Habits create comfort zones. This is why so many people can be content in a job they dislike. It’s because it’s become a part of their comfort, their habit. If you want to reach beyond where you are, you will have to do something you’ve never done.

It’s surprising just how many things we repeat. I mean this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Comfort zones definitely play there part. It gives us our sense of stability and security. It reduces stress and anxiety. But stepping out of your comfort zone has so many benefits, socially, physically, mentally and potentially financially. It will give you new experiences, broaden your knowledge and challenge your perspective. Quite exciting to be honest.

I’d love for you to try out these 6 things below. This is a short guide to embark you on your journey of exploring life outside of your comfort zone.

  1. Listen to a different music genre. Mix up your playlist. Check out different genres, genres you wouldn’t necessarily listen to. This isn’t about falling in love with it and being a complete fan. But rather appreciating and exploring different views, experiences and arts.
  2. Do random acts of kindness. Be intentionally kind and friendly to someone. A stranger on the bus, the homeless man or woman on the streets, a friend or family member. Make the time in the day to do so.
  3. Take a different route. If you’re travelling a short distance by car, try walking. If you get the bus, take a different one. Change the scenery, see something new.
  4. Social life. If you usually go out often, consider staying in and have a relaxing ‘me’ day. On the other hand, if you find that you don’t socialise much, call a friend and have a day out.
  5. Do something you wouldn’t do. If you could do something that would push the boundaries of what you would do, what would it be? Whether its bungee jumping, skydiving, swimming with dolphins and etc, then why not just go for it?
  6. Have a clear out. Go through the things on your dresser, in your wardrobe, cupboard or those sneaky kitchen cabinet and throw out anything you don’t use or need. Ask yourself, when was the last time I used this thing? Do I need it? If you find yourself answering ‘yes’ to the questions, challenge yourself ‘why’?

From One Discovering Soul To Another – let’s widen our life experience and not be a victim of habits.

11# | Worry: 5 A Day & I’m Not Talking About Fruits (4/4)

In 2011, my late Father was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease, a rare terminal muscles wasting disease. It’s the same disease Stephen Hawkings lived with. Within 6 months of being diagnosed, my Dad had lost his ability talk, walk or move any part of his body. We were told he doesn’t have long to live. Literally everything changed in an instant. His whole life changed and so did our world. My dad was a very active man, he was a mentor at an all girls school, a pastor of a church, an ex-DJ, a husband and Father to 3. Not to mention the many people he took under his wings. Seeing my dad deteriorate was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. I can’t count the times I’ve broken down in the streets, shops and the sleepless nights I endured. Overwhelmed by the thoughts of “how will my Dad cope with this disease?” “what would happen to the family? My mum? My siblings?” “Is the doctor really right?”

My soul was crushed and to be honest, I’m still healing.

One day, I went to a park that wasn’t too far from my house. This was a place I used to retreat to when I was younger and needed to rest my mind. I climbed a hill and sat on a rock facing towards a beautiful scenic lake. It was at this moment I challenged my thoughts and perspective. I consciously made a decision to take my focus off all what seemed to be going wrong, and began to be thankful and appreciative of all the good. The ‘good’ you might wonder.. yes the good! Of course the situation we were in was poooop, but even in that there were things to be grateful for.

At first I struggled to think of anything. I started with being thankful for somewhere to live and life. As time went on it developed into being thankful for a supportive family, for my Dad to be apart of a caring home and even though my dad’s unwell right now, I’m thankful that he still has a smile, full of faith and joy.

Having an attitude of gratitude changed everything for me! Yes I still worried, cried and got frustrated, but over time it definitely helped me put things into perspective. I became a happier, more positive and was able to enjoy life with my dad and family more. Having gratitude brought my attention into the present. Pain, stress and worry ends where gratitude begins.

Life right now might not be as you had hoped it to be, but there’s always something to be grateful for. Find this! Try it, every day, think of 5 things to be grateful for. Be specific. You can think about them or write them down. As you repeat this habit, you’ll recognise and notice the difference it has on your inner being. You will experience more joy, energy and peace flowing from the inside out. It won’t change your situation, but it’ll change how you live through it.

#10| Me & PTSD

I think this is my most vulnerable piece of writing to date. Before I go on I want to say that this blog isn’t so you can pity me or anyone else with a anxiety disorder. I remember the first time I heard someone speak on this topic and I felt for the first time ‘normal’, that my life CAN and WILL go on! So for over 15 years I’ve lived with something the doctors have named Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression. It’s a anxiety disorder which develops after experiencing a severely traumatic or distressful life event. I’m not able to talk about my life event which led to my PTSD at the moment for reasons outside of my control. But next year once everything’s cleared I’m going to speak on the topic as it’s something that affects so many people and not enough are talking about it in the community.

When traumatic events happens to you at an age where you’re still learning the world and mind is developing, it can rock your life and effect the chemical make-up of your brain forever. The world becomes less of a safe place.

I want to encourage you to do research on anxiety disorders to better understand it. Especially if you know someone or you yourself have been diagnosed with one. We have the knowledge of the world literally at our fingertips, don’t neglect the information we have at our hand! Right now, there’s nothing you can’t find the answer to, well other than the questions posed on the blog post #6. ‘12 Unanswerable Questions’ hehe. It’s important to know that you are NOT weird, abnormal or alone. In facts, statistics captured by the NHS show that ‘at any one time, a sixth of the population in England aged 16 to 64 have a mental health problem’. Yes, the degree of its impact varies vastly, but you are not in this by yourself!

There was a time where I was on the highest dose of antidepressants the doctors could prescribe, I wouldn’t leave my house for weeks at a time, pulling my hair in my sleep, constantly breaking down, feeling disconnected from everything and everyone, ‘random’ panic attacks and the list continues. At that point I thought that was it for me, that this was my life. Especially since the doctors said it’s incurable. It amazes me to think how far I’ve come *inserts cheesy GIF*. I still have bad patches but there nowhere near to what they used to be as I’ve found ways to better manager it. Here are just 3 things I do to help manage it before it gets out of hand:

  1. Speaking to someone. Try and find someone who understands what you’re dealing with when you feel anxiety or depression coming on. This should firstly be a professional i.e., support worker, counsellor or doctor. Family and friends are always good, but from my experience they may not always understand and that’s OK. You just need to be able to find someone you can confined who can maybe give you advice and lead you to solutions.
  2. Going for walks and exercising. A change of scenery is always good for the soul. The release of endorphins which happens when engaging in physical exercise helps combats symptoms of anxiety. It improves sleep quality and relieves stress from the body.
  3. Changing your diet. Vitamin B6 and Iron play a crucial role in regulating the production of serotonin in the body. Healthy levels of serotonin, which is also known as “the hormone of happiness,” can help you let go of negative thoughts and allow you to better cope with difficulties when they arise. Look a food you can add to your diet.

Remember, everyone has their own unique response to trauma and it’s important to take things at your own pace. Be patient with yourself and don’t judge yourself harshly for needing time and support. I’m no longer at the mercy of my disorder and I don’t think I would be here today had I not sought help in the form of counselling and looked more into what I can do.

From One Discovering Soul To Another – It’s never too late to start, but always too early to give up!

Continue reading “#10| Me & PTSD”

#9| 6 Life’s Too Short To Worry About (3/4)

We’ve almost finished our ‘Worry’ sequel. It’s been fun and interesting for me, I’ve learnt quite abit. If you haven’t read the previous blogs from this month about worry I encourage you to do so. Also don’t forget to subscribe to get blogs sent directly to your email. Life’s too short to miss out on it, and it’s too short to worry about…

1. Your appearance. Stop obsessing over your appearance! Everyone is beautiful lol OK, everyone is beautiful to someone (I think that’s what they say). Looks aren’t everything. Confidence and personality is what most people find attractive. But if your appearance and personality is messed up then… erm 🙂

2. Social media. Hello! Do you remember a time before social media? Remember when you had actual friends you actually met up with? We didn’t need social media sites to validate us. Who cares if Samantha’s cat got more likes than your latest posts debuting your new Brazilian weave? It’s not that deep. Whether you’re active, inactive or just not ‘popular’ as Sammy’s cat, it’s alright. Real friends is what’s most valuable.

3. Parents. Now this is the perfect opportunity to share this blog with your parents. *clears throat* parents chill out! We know you love us, but let’s be honest we’ve all made mistakes, even you, it’s apart of life and learning. There’s a time where you have to switch from telling your children what to do, to now advising them on the best decision in your opinion. But you must let them live without fear of disappointing you. Friend, don’t worry too much about what your parents think, they love and want the best for you, but at the end of the day you have to live your life in order to live satisfied, free and happy.

4. Things Outside Of Your Control. I can’t control the weather, the traffic or the smelly person on the bus, unfortunately. But I can control my own attitude and perception on these things. I.e. Yes you smell and my senses are literally throwing up, but I won’t react. Maybe your shower broke down and you haven’t been able to fix it. Look at that, an example of a change of attitude and behaviour right there! The easiest way to reduce stress is to stop thinking about all the stuff you can’t control.

5. Peoples Lives. Gossip is so ugly to me. I don’t mind talking to my friends or family about what’s going on in their lives, but hearing about other peoples personal lives? Uninterested. Instead of joining in gossip, worry about you. I don’t know about you, but way too much is happening to be talking about Jack and Jill down the road.

6. Bills. There are a few things that are certain in life; death and bills! You can’t run from them. Stressing every time you’re nearing to the end of the month is not a healthy way to live. Instead of fretting over what is inevitable, look at how you can prepare for it. Check out the 6 tips on how you can worry proof your life on last weeks blog Replacement. Click the link.

The moral of the story is, life is too short. As much as I’m being light-hearted on these topics, I know for some these are genuine issues. If so I’d encourage you to seek these issues and if needs be seek specialist help.

From One Discovering Soul To Another – Have A Great Week!

#8|Worry: The Replacement (2/4)

We live a fast paced society with so much going on. There is constantly something to do and worry about. Whether it’s your family, friends, bills etc, the list goes on. Some of these things we have no control over, but we can certainly control our stress and worry levels to promote a happy peaceful life. Imagine how much brighter and more enjoyable life would be without issues popping up dragging you into a never ending cycle of worry, stress and anxiety. The thoughts you think reinforce emotions that then determine the outcome and outlook of your day. So it’s important to put things into perspective and cancel out the nagging thoughts that escalates worry. Worrying about tomorrow won’t change it, but it will cloud the sunshine in your today. There is nothing positive in worry. Whenever a situation or circumstance comes about that may cause you to succumb to worry, following these three simple steps could make a big difference to your emotions and overall life. Whilst you’re in your worry moment, pause and ask yourself these questions and put things back into perspective. These questions are what separates a person plagued by unhelpful worrisome thoughts and someone who recognises the warning signs and responds with action.

What is the worst possible outcome in this situation?

Will the outcome cause a major problem? What can I do to try and solve the issue?

There are some things that happen in life that cause worry that we’re unable to change. But the times where you have a certain amount of control over it, for your own sake you should change it. Here are 6 ways to help worry proof your life.

1. Stay organised and on top of things.

2. Address issues as they arise.

3. Reduce your number of commitments.

4. Do something relaxing and calming.

5. Don’t avoid what your brain is trying to tell you.

6. Ask for help.

#7|Worry: I Partly Blame Evolution (1/4)

The dictionary defines the word worry as ‘the state of being anxious and troubled over actual or potential problems’. Sound familiar? Statistically, the UK has one of the highest percentage of worriers in Western Europe and I’m proud to say I’m apart of this statistic. I am a worrier. I worry about anything and everything. I mean I’ve come along way but every now and then I have to stop, do my breathing exercises and intentionally let go of those unproductive thoughts that plague the mind.

So why do we worry? Our ancestors many moons ago lived in what researchers called an Immediate Return Society meaning our actions in those times gave us an immediate benefit. When we were thirsty, dehydration would kick in and our body would feel stress, encouraging us to drink, and once done the stress is relieved. When we saw a dangerous animal in the distance, stress would fill the body, energising us to run, and when we’ve found a safe place the stress is relieved. We live in a Delayed Return Society. This means that most of the choices we make today won’t have an immediate benefit or reward. It’s how this modern world’s designed. A lot of us work work work in the words of Rihanna to then get paid after 30 days. We’re told to save money now for our retirement in the future. Today we face different problems. Will I have enough money to pay my upcoming bills? Will I ever be promoted in my current job? So now what’s happened is that our brain that’s lived in an immediate return environment for tens of thousands of years, is now living in a delayed return environment. The world has evolved much quicker than our mind has. We’re now in a time where the delay in return breeds uncertainty and worry, the state of being anxious and troubled over actual or potential problems.

Worry is such a big topic, so big that I’m going to dedicate this month of August to it. This blog is merely an introduction into this. I’m excited to explore this in more detail. The next coming Mondays of August I will be speaking on worry and giving out tips on how to work worry in your favour! So here’s my first tip: Plan and Review. We can’t eliminate all stresses and worries, but we can remove some uncertainty by planning and reviewing our steps. For example, we don’t know how much we will have in our retirement but having a plan to put x amount of money away each month will rid some of the worry. You can’t predict when you’ll start a family or get married, for some that’s a worry. But we can look at how active we are in meet new people. With our money, looking at your spending habits and having a revised spending plan/budget will help prevent the worry of will I have enough for my bills. This is a very simple way to think but hugely effective. It won’t solve everything, but it will help clarify the situation at hand and help you focus your energy on the things you can control.

Now what’s a blog without an ending quote heyy! The old Swedish proverb says, “Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.”

#6|12 Funny Unanswerable Questions

As the inquisitive being we are, we humans are constantly ask questions and seeking for answers. I guess that’s what sets us apart from other mammals. Some go on pursuits to answer age old questions such as, “what’s the purpose of life?” and “what happens after death?” As intriguing as these are, I just want to know the following..

  1. What happens when you get scared half to death twice?
  2. Why do we wait until night to call it a day?
  3. Why do Easter bunnies carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.
  4. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean the 5th person enjoyed it?
  5. How far east do you go before you start heading west?
  6. Why are blueberries called blueberries when they’re purple?
  7. Why is ‘bra’ singular but ‘panties’ plural?
  8. Does the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
  9. Why did you just sing the above songs? hehe
  10. Why do we call it quicksand when it actually sinks slow?
  11. Why is the word for fear of long words so long hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
  12. And lastly, how on earth did Donald Trump become president?

Feel free to share any of these questions with your friend and family. Especially the ones who think they know it all hehe. Don’t forget to like & subscribe for weekly blog sent directly to your email:) Unlike next week, toodles!

#5|I’m A Year Older & Here’s 7 Things I’ve Learned

As if another year has passed, another 365 days. Honestly where does the time and money go! Ugh, I’m going to have to come back to this money thing, but I digress. So I’m no wise guy, I just like to talk. So below are just 7 things that I’ve learnt over the last 12 months and saving money isn’t one of them.

1. You’re going to be criticised no matter what you do, so in the words of Nike JUST DO IT! Like literally, no matter what you do their will always be someone with something to say. You have to come to the point where you take opinions as opinions and advice as advice. Don’t disregard what others say, but don’t give your power to make choices and decisions away! No sir, no ma’am.

2. This one will save you headache and heartache. Give up trying to change and mould people into who you want them to be. You can’t change people. Everyone’s life journey has been different and on the way there have been so many factors that have made them into the person they are today. Either accept it, or keep it moving.

3.  It’s important that amongst the busyness of life that you stop, relax and enjoy. Take yourself on a spontaneous meal out or shopping trip. Pamper yourself. Go for a walk. Sing to the top of your lungs, dance. Binge watch on Netflixs and don’t feel bad about it. Don’t take life so serious, you take the fun out of it.

4. Don’t settle for anything or anyone and that goes for everything. From your salary to your relationship. Know your worth, what you will and won’t take and express that. We don’t settle over here in these streets, periodtt.

5. Ok so last year you said that this year you’re going to start gym. We are now in the second half of 2019 and you’ve been less than 5 times. Pardon me, just having a little go at myself. Gym isn’t the only way to get fit. Try to incorporate fitness into your lifestyle. Try jogs after work, yoga or short workouts before bad. It all counts and can save you money.

6. Be consistent and don’t wait on support to start, just go for it! You have to start from somewhere, don’t stop creating. You might have 2 or 3 people watching or supporting you at first, but as you continue your network will grow. What ever it is you love to do keep at it, you will be rewarded in due time.

7. There’s a difference between a friends and someone who’s friendly. Know your people and invest in true friendships. Time is precious and as you get old we seem to have less of it. Putting time into building true friendship is important. Don’t confuse friendly with friend.

#4|Crazy People DON’T Talk To Themselves

Let’s be honest peeps, life can be challenging at times. It could be financial issues, a loss of a job, family problems, break ups or an illness for some example. These things can really knock us. Knocking, or challenging the way we view ourselves, the value and worth we place on ourselves and our abilities. The condition of our self-esteem and soul is so important to like everything! So important that I’m definitely going to revisit this topic because everything we do is because of it. The choices we make, the way we treat ourselves and others, what we allow and don’t allow, you get my point. Therefore building your esteem is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

It’s been believed that talking to plants can improve their quality. Even Prince Charles admits to being a plant talker, as he believes it grows a healthier plant. Approved by the Royals! Scientists suggest that exposure to positive and negative words can affect the growth of a plant. Seems strange doesn’t it? So what’s the theory? Plants are highly sensitive and respond quickly to their environment, to wind, sunlight, temperatures, sound vibrations, radiation and emotions released through our words. There was an experiment done with two of the same plants. They were both planted on the same day, watered the same time and exposed to the same amount of sunlight. The only difference with the two plants was the words spoken to them daily. Plant A had negative words spoken to it, whilst plant B was given nothing but positivity. After some time, the result were clear to see. The plant that had nothing but positive endorsements grew quicker, larger and stronger than Plant A.

Here are 21 affirmations you can use as a base to build on. Say these until you believe it, feel it, dripping of it! So let’s go.

• I unconditionally love and accept myself

• I believe in myself
• I am beautiful
• I deserve to be happy
• I am positive and see nothing but opportunities
• Things are working in my favour
• I am loaded with greatness
• I am strength
• I can achieve anything I set my mind to
• I am not worthless
• I am not valueless
• I am not purposeless
• I let go of all hurt, pain and unforgiveness
• I forgive myself
• My best days are ahead of me
• My opinions are valuable
• I am becoming better everyday
• I am success
• I am full of potential
• I am loved and respected
• I am LIT!

From One Discovering Soul To Another- Change your inner dialogue and it will change the world around you. It’s the inner conversations that you have with yourself that matters.

#3|6 Annoying Things You’re Probably Guilty Of.

Now I’m the first to put my hand up to say I’m guilty of all of these, but that won’t stop me moaning at everyone else who does!:)

1. Holding the door open for someone who’s far away.

I mean, holding the door is a beautiful gesture, but sisters and brothers, when I’m forced to hop, skip and jump because you’ve held the door open whilst I’m 1000 meters away… not so beautiful. Even if I didn’t want you to hold the door open, how do you expect me to communicate that so far away!? It’d just look like I’m smiling which then makes you smile and open the door even wider! The moral of the story is, don’t hold the door for us if I’m far away, it’s lowkey bullying and you’re taking away my power of choice!

2. Going to self-check out with more than 10 items.

Now I know some supermarkets have the self-checkouts where you can have unlimited items. But when you’re at a 10 items and less checkout, which can I add does state 10 items or less, don’t roll up with your trolley filled with your bi-weekly shopping! Stop it! And to add to the annoyance, your 1 million items don’t fit in the packing area. So now we’re watching you playing Jenga with your ready meals, calling over shop staff every 30 seconds with an awkward embarrassed look to your face. And yes that’s me in the queue behind you shaking my head!

3. Eating pungent foods in a confined space.

This is actually stressful *exhales profusely*. Now there’s nothing worse than getting on a train, finally finding a suitable seat, because obviously every seat is different. Making yourself comfortable, only for the disrespectful person just seats away whipping open what seems to be a collection of weekly left over that’s just met outside air. I feel like you actually waited for this moment, to couldn’t wait to lift that lid of right to watch all our faces huh!?

4. People walking slow in groups.

I shouldn’t have to ballroom dance my way around your ten thousand friends hogging the pavement. Stopping, starting and twirling my way through the lot of yass. No! And when you see my face in distress and hear me huff, there’s that one spokesperson who has the nerve to say, *inserts strong local accent* “you could of just said excuse me”. The nerve of it all!

5. Breadcrumbs left in butter tub.

Now there’s a rule here.. Breadcrumbs I can identify as mine i.e. coming from previous breads I’ve consumed, that’s fine and we’re OK to proceed using the butter. BUT, God forbid there be unidentified breadcrumbs in the tub! *inserts heaving emoji GIF here*. It’s even worse when it’s burnt breadcrumbs. It looks gross!

6. Standing on the left on an escalator.

It’s a known fact that London not only eats your money, but also your time. Have you noticed how everyone rushes everywhere? Why, I hear you wonder. It’s because they actually have 5 less hours in the day! Makes sense right, I know I’m a genius. So therefore escalators are a big deal. In London people don’t care if the tubes every 2 minutes, they want that one and that’s now not achievable because of your rebelling self is standing on the left. Now I’m late! Thank you.

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