Now I’m the first to put my hand up to say I’m guilty of all of these, but that won’t stop me moaning at everyone else who does!:)

1. Holding the door open for someone who’s far away.

I mean, holding the door is a beautiful gesture, but sisters and brothers, when I’m forced to hop, skip and jump because you’ve held the door open whilst I’m 1000 meters away… not so beautiful. Even if I didn’t want you to hold the door open, how do you expect me to communicate that so far away!? It’d just look like I’m smiling which then makes you smile and open the door even wider! The moral of the story is, don’t hold the door for us if I’m far away, it’s lowkey bullying and you’re taking away my power of choice!

2. Going to self-check out with more than 10 items.

Now I know some supermarkets have the self-checkouts where you can have unlimited items. But when you’re at a 10 items and less checkout, which can I add does state 10 items or less, don’t roll up with your trolley filled with your bi-weekly shopping! Stop it! And to add to the annoyance, your 1 million items don’t fit in the packing area. So now we’re watching you playing Jenga with your ready meals, calling over shop staff every 30 seconds with an awkward embarrassed look to your face. And yes that’s me in the queue behind you shaking my head!

3. Eating pungent foods in a confined space.

This is actually stressful *exhales profusely*. Now there’s nothing worse than getting on a train, finally finding a suitable seat, because obviously every seat is different. Making yourself comfortable, only for the disrespectful person just seats away whipping open what seems to be a collection of weekly left over that’s just met outside air. I feel like you actually waited for this moment, to couldn’t wait to lift that lid of right to watch all our faces huh!?

4. People walking slow in groups.

I shouldn’t have to ballroom dance my way around your ten thousand friends hogging the pavement. Stopping, starting and twirling my way through the lot of yass. No! And when you see my face in distress and hear me huff, there’s that one spokesperson who has the nerve to say, *inserts strong local accent* “you could of just said excuse me”. The nerve of it all!

5. Breadcrumbs left in butter tub.

Now there’s a rule here.. Breadcrumbs I can identify as mine i.e. coming from previous breads I’ve consumed, that’s fine and we’re OK to proceed using the butter. BUT, God forbid there be unidentified breadcrumbs in the tub! *inserts heaving emoji GIF here*. It’s even worse when it’s burnt breadcrumbs. It looks gross!

6. Standing on the left on an escalator.

It’s a known fact that London not only eats your money, but also your time. Have you noticed how everyone rushes everywhere? Why, I hear you wonder. It’s because they actually have 5 less hours in the day! Makes sense right, I know I’m a genius. So therefore escalators are a big deal. In London people don’t care if the tubes every 2 minutes, they want that one and that’s now not achievable because of your rebelling self is standing on the left. Now I’m late! Thank you.

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