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My £85 sh*t… worth every penny!

Right, now that’s out the way, heyy all! This is my first post, what a way to start the year of, with a bang ayy. Firstly I have to say a “happy new year!” to all reading and to my loyal subscribers:) If you haven’t done so already, after this post head back to the homepage, scroll down to the bottom and enter your email in the subscription box to receive blogs straight to your email. By the way, EVERY pun was intended.

Disclaimer: This and I repeat THIS blog is not for the easily offended or boujee.

Today I had my first colon cleanse, also known as colonic hydrotherapy or colonic irrigation. It’s safe to say that this was an experience I and the patient nurse won’t be forgetting any time soon. Before we start let’s start with..

What is colonic hydrotherapy?
It is the gentle infusion of warm filtered water into the large intestine (colon) to help cleanse it of old faecal matter, gas, mucous, parasites and toxins. The water is infused under carefully regulated pressure. When the colon has taken enough fluid, the therapist then gently massages the abdomen to encourage the fluid to move through the length of the colon, the fluid will then be empted from the colon, bringing with it the impacted wastes matter, which has accumulated over weeks, months AND YEARS! Whew chilee the ghetto..

And boyy did I have years!!

When you arrived at the clinic what happened?
I arrived at the clinic at 10:45am and was instantly welcomed and made to feel comfortable. I had a short consultation where I spoke about my general health and touched on my eating habits and history of stomach problems. I went through what I would usually eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. “That sounds balanced” the nurse commented. But little did she know was that this ‘new’ eating regimen started last month and gurll if we go back over the years what I’ve put in my body is atrocious!

Those who know me know that my downfall is cake! Red Velvet and Victoria Sponge are life you hear me! I have cut down alot, I now have around 2/3 slices of cake a week. I do though plan to stop. I used to eat so much cake that it once sent me to the A&E. Yes, cake sent me to hospital. I was 15 years old and for a good week plus all I ate was cake, Tesco birthday cakes to be precise. After 7 days I was struggling to pass. I went to the doctors and they prescribed me laxatives upon laxatives, there was still no movement. 5 weeks have gone and I still hadn’t been to the toilet! At this point I was looking 28 weeks pregnant and felt really ill. The doctor said “I think we might have to operate”. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have put my bowels through the sh*ts I tell you. I knew I was backed up to the high heavens and this colonic was about to be very interesting.

After the consultation she instructed me to take my pants off and stick my knees up. I did just that. A few moments later she grabs this tube thingy, tells me to take a deep breath, “1.. 2..” and before she got the 3 she had already put it in me, cheeky! Anyways, after that complete shock and horror, she switches on the machine and the liquids start pumping into me. The feeling is something hard to explain. It almost feels like you really really need a dump. Like you’re literally brewing. Like if you sneeze right now sh*ts about to hit the fan, like literally. It was that feeling.

Usually around 15 or so minutes in you should start to see waste going down the tube. 30 minutes in it should be flowing. Tell me why after 45 minutes we are seeing nothing! I asked her, “ermm, is this not working?” Thinking have I just been robbed? Have I just given these people money for absolutely nothing? With a frustrated look to her face she said, “Ashley if I’m honest with you, this hasn’t happened before.” She said I’ve got one of the worst bowels she’s seen in her 16 year career. How bloody embarrassing. Lowkey I wanted to laugh, but you know what it’s actually quite serious. She then cranks up the pressure. “Come you little buggar, get moving” she grunts whilst squeezing on the tube. I’m now laying there on my side, digesting what she’s just said and not really knowing what’s going on. What if this colonic doesn’t work, I’m doooomed. My session was 1 hour but the poor lady said we won’t stop until she sees something move. Bless her! So we went over about by 20 minutes.

Surprisingly the whole thing wasn’t painful at all. Well one bit was, when I laughed a little and the tube threw out my rear at 15,000 miles per hour. The procedure itself was quite therapeutic and I learnt so much about foods, the digestive system and dos and don’t that the overall experience for me was 10 out of 10. And seeing what came out of me made me gag. It’s crazy how much rubbish your body can hold!

What are the benefits of a colon cleanse?
There are so many benefits to getting your colon cleansed. I would encourage you to do your own research. Here’s a list below of just some of the ways cleansing your colon will benefit you. The below is taken from https://www.gaiam.com/blogs/discover/10-benefits-of-colon-cleansing.

1. Makes the digestive system more effective

As the colon is cleansed, it pushes waste through your system, clearing the way for good nutrient absorption. A clean colon from a colon detox allows waste to pass easily.

2. Increases energy

Releasing the toxins from your body is rejuvenating because it refocuses the energy usually used for forcing waste through your intestines to other parts of your body. People who have undergone colon detoxification say they have better blood circulation, more restful sleep, and a boost in energy.

3. Increases the body’s absorption of vitamins and nutrients

A colon that’s been cleansed allows only water, vitamins and nutrients to be absorbed into the bloodstream, creating an unobstructed path for essential nutrients to filter into your body.

4. Improves concentration

Poor diet and ineffective vitamin absorption can cause you to become distracted and lose your concentration. The buildup of mucous and toxins in your colon can keep your body from getting what it needs to function, even if you eat a consistently healthy diet. Cleansing the colon with a detox diet can be the difference between feeling alert and not being able to focus. This has far-reaching ramifications for work, your relationships, and your overall health.

5. Kick-starts weight loss

Foods lacking in fiber move through the digestive tract at one-quarter the pace of high-fiber choices. This slow-moving food produces excess mucous that literally sticks to the intestinal walls, weighing the intestinal tract down with pounds of decaying fecal matter. Colon cleansing has the potential to aid weight loss; some people claim to have lost up to 20 pounds over the course of a month. The average human colon weighs about four pounds empty and can hold up to eight meals’ worth of food before digestion finally occurs. A colon cleansing can result in significant weight loss and kick-start your metabolism, as well as refocus your attention on better food choices and whole-body wellness.

6. Decreases risk of colon cancer

All the toxins that you eat, drink, breathe, and absorb through your skin end up processed by your gastrointestinal system, kidneys, and liver. If they’re not forced from your organs as quickly as possible, they can wreak havoc on your body’s systems. By releasing stagnant body waste, you reduce the causes and the risk of polyps, cysts and cancerous growths in your colon and gastrointestinal tract.

7. Increases fertility

Colon cleansing, as well as increased fiber intake and healthy food choices, improves regularity and helps keep your weight under control. Fat is estrogen-based, and if too much is present, becoming pregnant becomes more difficult. A colon that is weighed down by years of buildup can also press on the uterus and surrounding reproductive organs in women, causing strain. Colon cleansing rids the body of many chemicals and toxins that affect the egg and sperm. Many naturopaths recommend that both partners undergo colon cleansing before attempting pregnancy.

8. Improves whole-body well-being

Ridding the colon of waste and toxins by releasing layers of colon buildup can lead to feelings of lightness, increased energy, and overall good health.

..and the list goes on!

It is also important to note that there is a correlation between the health of your guts and the performance of the brain. I would definitely have a look into that too.

How often should have a colonic?
They typically suggest 6 months to a year. For me she said to come back in 2 weeks then again in 3 months (lol). But this is not the only way to flush out your colon. There are other methods you can use, I guess it’s about doing research and finding what best suits you.

My colonic cost £85. This might sound a lot, BUT when you think about what you spend on a night out. Or what you spend on eating out, or even on clothes – it really isn’t that much. I have clear goals this year, one of them is taking better care of my health, mind and wellbeing. This for me does just that.

From one discovering soul to another – let’s put more importance on our insides, than the appearance on the outside.

Until next time cya! And don’t forget to share, comment and subscribe😊 weekly blogs will be starting back up the 1st week of March.

#21| All I Want For Christmas

The Christmas season is in full swing! Mere moments after the last child was tucked into bed after a night of trick or treat, did the bells start jingling and the undying holiday anthems start playing. This joyous occasion signals us all to reconnect with family, buy gifts, stuff our faces and wrap up in the warmth of our covers during the harsh winter months. But what happens to those of us not so fortunate to have those familial ties and the blessing of a safe place to call home at night?

It is estimated that this year alone 22,000 young people will be facing homelessness this Christmas – many of these young people will also be estranged from their families.

When you become estranged from your family, it can make celebrating this festive season which is so heavily focussed on family a difficult period. As thoughts arise about how the day will be spent. The isolation brought about by homelessness and family estrangement can lead to the development or exacerbation of mental health issues. With this in mind, it is important that support networks and relationships are formed with loved ones to help them through these difficult times.

It was during the Halloween-Christmas switch, almost a year after I had been initially made homeless, that I was first introduced to the concept of a ‘Found Family’, or as some call it, a ‘Chosen Family’. These are the people you choose to let into your lives to provide love, support and stability where it’s missing. These people usually are the ones that understand you most and have supported through the difficult times. The beauty of it all being that the members of your Found Family can be absolutely anyone you want. For me they include my sisters, friends I grew up with, those who have had similar family challenges, and Black and Queer people who I kiki with.

Cultivating a loving and supportive community for yourself can be truly life-changing, they become a safe space where you can grow and truly be yourself. One of the best things about having a Found Family is that you can start your own traditions. Every year me and my siblings gather together for our own little sibling Christmas, the actual day I then spend with my best friend and her family. It wasn’t easy to get to this point. There was a time when I hated Christmas for all the things that it signified. Before I had got to the point where I could celebrate Christmas with the people I loved, the constant advertisements of the season to be jolly felt like a never-ending gut punch. I would hear the whistling notes of ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ playing, and I was ready to spit the words ‘bah humbug’ out like venom.

It wasn’t until my friend invited me to spend Christmas with her that I realised that Christmas isn’t a celebration only reserved for the people you are biologically tied to.

That simple invitation from my family changed my outlook on what family means, and allowed me to then start my own Found Family and traditions. I encourage you to do the same, be it starting your own Found Family traditions or inviting a friend over for Christmas to let them know that they are loved and valued too. Though some of you may be unable to do so, a simple call checking on your friends who are spending the day alone or away from family goes a long way. None of this is to say that we can solve the issue of youth homelessness by just inviting a friend over for Christmas dinner, but it can make this time of year just that bit easier for those going through a rough time. If you want good karma points for the New Year then this is a good way to start!

Written by: Dale Taylor-Gentles

If you or anyone you know is homeless or at risk, then do contact Centrepoint Helpline on the number 0808 800 0661 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm), or visit their website at http://www.centrepoint.org.uk. They offer free advice and support for 16 – 25-year olds.

#20| I Got My 20/20 Vision Back!

A baby bird fell out of her nest and became disconnected from her family. Unable to fly or call out for help, this innocent bird wandered the grounds to find shelter and food. The next morning a farmer was out to tend his flock, in the distance he noticed the baby bird, rummaging in the leaves. He picked her up and thought it’d be a good idea to keep her in his pen filled with other birds. This bird was quickly accepted by the others and he grew and lived a what seemed to be a happy life amongst the rest. As the bird started to grow, the farmer recognised that this was different. It’s wings, feet and facial features. To his surprise he found out that he had rescued a rare American eagle! A bird that has the ability to reach altitudes of 10,000 feet. But it never attempted to fly because it lived its life amongst flightless birds.

Her environment and surrounds told her that walking around is the height of life and ability. She hadn’t seen another bird fly. They say that who you spend the majority of your time with will have an impact on how far you can see and how high you can soar. This I believe is true! They have the ability to influence and shape the way we see ourselves in the world and how we think.

Your associate’s can either stop or inspire, block or push you, blind or encourage the greatness in you.

In this coming year, we are getting our flight back! We surrounding ourselves with positive people, ‘movers and shakers’ and we are soaring! Be around people who inspire and challenge you to be better and do better. Ambitious people who see no limits only possibilities. Encouraging people who celebrate You.

Here’s a question and be brutally honest with yourself:

• Have you allowed people or your environment to put limits on you?

•Has your boss or job dumbed down your ability to do more?

A dangerous place to be in life is being comfortable going nowhere.

Today, understand that there is greatness inside of you. You have the ability to achieve anything you set your heart and mind to. Reassess who you spend most of your time with and the conversations you have. You don’t have to de-friend them, but you may have to unfollow them in real life! Your flight starts now. 20/20 vision starts now.

Plan and prepare yourself for an amazing new year!:)

#19| Three’s A Crowd

Multitasking is defined as being able to take on many tasks at the same time. The word often used to describe the concept of computers being able to perform multiple tasks or processes concurrently. The computer would be able to have tasks and programmes running without any or little decrease in its productivity. This word is commonly used to also describe people. Being able to ‘multitask’ is often something people pride themselves on. Women often identify themselves as naturally having this ability, often rubbing it in the face of their male counterpart.

Instead of doing lots of little things, exercise the power of three.

I fell into the pit of doing too much little things. I had lots of ides and goals and thought I’d be able to multitask on them all. I was very wrong. I became slow and less productive. Contrary to popular belief, science proves that our brain is awful at multitasking. Once it focuses on something, it blocks out everything else. When we multitask, our brain activity increases, as it switches frantically between tasks we become more prone to becoming distracted this way.

Do this task. Grab a pen and paper and someone to time you. On line one write you first and last name, and the line below write 1 to 20. Time yourself doing this. Now repeat this exercise, but write it differently. Write one character on each line one at a time. For example I would write ‘A’ on the top line and then 1 below, then ‘s’ on the top and then ‘2’ below and so on. Time yourself doing this and notice the difference in time and maybe also the quality of the writing.

Do one task at a time, pour all your attention into that present moment. Don’t mentally engage in anything else but the task at hand. In a day, aim to complete a maximum of three large tasks. You’ll find yourself saving a lot of time and energy. You’ll find yourself accomplishing more in less time. Write out three of your aims either for the day, month or year. Let these be your focus. It might be a business goal or a personal goal. Whatever it is, aim to focus on three things at different times, instead of many things at once.

#18| Is It Preference?

I was invited onto BBC West Midlands this week to share my opinions on a range of topics surrounding dating. One of these topics was on racial preference. Is it OK to only date one particular racial group? I asked Instagram via a poll and over 150 responded. 63% said Yes it’s OK to date only one particular race, 37% said disagreed with this. If I was to vote I would side with the side that says No it’s not OK to only one race, and this is why. *Tamar Braxton voice* Now y’all don’t hate me now, but let’s get into this. OK you can stop the Tamar voice now weirdo😊

Let me start off with this. Writng off an entire racial group, especially without having an exception to me is problematic. ‘No Blacks’, ‘No Asians’, ‘No Whites’, does this sound or look familiar? The amount of times I’ve seen this on dating apps is shocking. Imagine people walking around with a sign of what racial group they would never date. Sounds problematic to me.

Only being open to dating certain races to me, is not preference. To say you only date black guys/girls is not preference, to say you only date white guys/girls is not preference.  A preference is having a greater liking for one alternative over another. I like McDonalds, but I prefer Greggs and I dare you at me about it! That’s my preference, I am open to them both.

It is not a preference to only being open to dating one particular race.

Stereotypes plays a large role in who we are attracted to. Pause and think about it. In fact, examine some of your own thoughts, opinions and internalised feelings you have towards different races. What are these? It’s true that the media, our upbringing, our circle and so many other components influence how we feel towards others and who we are willing to date. But excluding a whole racial group from your dating pool can have you miss out on your potential soulmate. Furthermore, when we reduce people to characteristics, often stereotypical of their race, ethnicity, or culture, we are actually objectifying them. Objectifying them to fulfill our own personal wishes and expectations for how they should behave, treat you, look and value.

Having a preference is being open to all races but having more of a liking for another. Now if you’re like me Single with a capital S, you may need to look into opening up to other races and the beauty their cultural differences hold. Yes dating outside of your cultural norm may come with more challenges than dating what’s familiar to you, but it does work!

So I challenge you as I challenge myself. Try and widen your network. This isn’t to say you must date a race you haven’t before, that’s not it. But if before you wouldn’t entertain the thought, first identify why and then maybe interact with that racial group. You might just surprise yourself! Maybe go on a date with a person you normally wouldn’t. And lastly, if ever you hear someone say “I can never date a person from xxx race (or colour)”, challenge that thought.

From One Wondering Soul To Another 🙂

#17| The Power of “No”

Last week we touched on priorities, values and responding to demands. Today I want to delve into the power of No and why I think you should use this often seen as a negative word more often. Here are just 3 powers No holds:

1. No sets boundaries! It is the tool in which we establish and maintain limits that protects our true self. No says, “This is who I am; this is what I value; this is what I will and will not do.” You should never lose yourself because people, society, family or friends have a certain expectation of you. You are YOU. You can’t afford to lose who you are, the world needs someone like YOU! We need No to set those limits which protect our choices.

2. No gives you the ability to be agents of your own limits. Can I be honest and speak to some of you (including myself): NO you don’t need another slice of cake, you can do without. NO you don’t need another drink Fred, you’re already drunk! NO you don’t need to buy that outfit, your bank accounts been screaming. Saying No to yourself could save your life, finances, relationships and future. Mastering the art of self-discipline will bless you.

3. No gives you back your personal power of choice. It’s amazing how much people will ask and expect of you. Some will even demand from you, the cheek of it! No protects you from the many who feel entitled. You are a limited resource, stop giving people everything you have, and that includes time! Further to that, you should never make decisions solely based on what others want of you. No tells others your standards, what you will and won’t do. No draws the line. Yes we stay respectful, yes we stay considerate, but no we don’t make decisions to please or satisfy others.

‘No is an instrument of integrity and a shield against exploitation. It often takes courage to say. It is hard to receive. But setting limits sets us free.’ – Judith Sills

I want you to try it – try using this word more often. It is so important and will impact your life in so many ways. Keeping a healthy balanced life depends on this simple word,knowing what to say No to. It’s not always easy, I mean unless you’re just plain miserable you won’t get much joy in delivering No’s, but believe me you’ll feel a sense of relief once you start saying No to the right things.

From one discovering soul to another – continue living out your true-self, staying true to what’s true to you.

#16| The Right Balance

Remember learning to cycle for the first time? Yeah, I don’t either lol but for the sake of this blog let’s pretend we do. Being forced to wear those hideous elbow and knee pads. With a helmet roughly weighing 10kg, designed to prevent head injuries whilst breaking your neck. Walking towards your bike you give it a little rock from side to side to ensure the stabilisers are fitted properly. If it wasn’t fitted correctly you could easily lose balance and fall off! It’s important in life that you create the right balance. It’s often underestimated how living a balanced life contributes to a healthier enjoyable life. It benefits your health, relationships, productivity, finances, wellbeing and the list goes on. Like a clog everything works together. For example, not putting enough time and energy into your relationships could cause unnecessary arguments and resentment, thus impacting on your emotions, which will then affect other areas of your life.

Life cannot be all work and no play. Neither can it be all play and no work. Striking the right balance is the key to a happier healthier life.

Having a balanced life does not mean putting an equal amount of time and energy into everything. This my friend is a recipe for disaster. Why? Because everything holds a different demand and value, and these constantly changing – and so does the time and energy these aspects require. Not recognising these changes or responding to the required demands can set you up to being unbalanced. The stage of life you were at 5 years ago, or even just a few months ago may have drastically changed. In order to keep with the flow you must recognise your values at this point in your life.

This week, identify the demands on the different areas of your life and redefine your priorities to achieve these. It might be that spending more time with family and friends, or thr opposite in order to get work done. You may need to spend less and save more! I have alot to say on this topic and can’t wait to share more throughout this month. Next week we’ll look at why we find it difficult to get balance. Thought provoking… we have just begun. Let’s end this year the way we mean to go on:)

#15 | I Pushed Over My Teacher

I enjoyed secondary school, probably abit too much. I don’t think a day went by without me being in a fit of laughter. It was good times. To my teachers this was annoying and disruptive, this resulted in me having a behaviour mentor pretty quickly. I mean I wasn’t mad about it, it came with its benefits. I was able to get out of lessons, go on random activities outside school, weekends away and day trips. And it was on one of these days trips Mrs Moody (we’ll call her) went down.

First of all, I was already fumed at the fact we had to meet at school at 7am for a theatre show that started at 12pm! We was going to see The Nutcracker in London. I arrived at the school cold and tired, I said my “good mornings” to the teachers/mentors standing around and I proceed to mount the coach. Obviously me and my friend go straight to the back because eww who was going to sit anywhere else please! The teachers now start to take their seats and Mrs Moody comes to sit at the back. She was a smug middle aged lady who enjoyed getting me in trouble, almost as much as I enjoyed irritating her, so we had a mutual relationship.

Now half way to London and we stop at a service station for something to eat as planned. I got my usual KFC, it was lovely. I have eaten, annoyed Mrs Moody with a few songs and I’m now excited about this theatre show. Let’s fast forward.. so the show was great and we all rally up ready to leave. At this point I’m now hungry! I’ve been up since 6am, had service station food, my little pack lunch and theatre food which isn’t much. I’m hungry and slowly getting cranky! We left London a little later than planned but the teachers said we’ll make time to eat at a service station.

We arrive at the service station and they now say, “we don’t have time to pick up food, so we’re only stopping for a toilet break” I mean is this some kind of sick joke! Mrs Moody asks if everyone heard that, I said “no” and got up and went inside the station, straight to KFC. I ordered my usual, a zinger tower burger, chips and orange juice just for balance everything out. I handed over my money and waited. “Only stopping for a toilet break” I thought sighing to myself. These teachers can’t tell me their not hungry, with their breathes smelling like ear backs! You all should be the first in line for food. Mouth hot and empty. I could of raised a grievance to be fair. Reason: ‘withholding food from us and harmful breaths!’ My order arrives and the lady hands it over. Suddenly, I see an arm reach out from behind me. Mortified! WHAT’S GOING ON!? AM I BEING ROBBED!? OMG I’M BEING ROBBED!! So my natural instinct was to push whoever it is trying to grab my KFC! I turned around and pushed this thief and the person went back into a chair and fell to the ground! Now there lies Mrs Moody, on her back holding my KFC with a startled deer look on her face. The only thing that was missing from that moment was the outro of Eastenders theme tune, “doom doom doom, doom doom doom..” So what did I do? I grabbed my KFC bag whilst she was getting up and went to the coach to start on my meal.

That was the last I seen of Mrs Moody that day. She sat at the front of the coach and I next saw her at school the day after. It was only for 2 minutes because as I arrived they sent me back home lol. The moral of the story is, and yes there is a moral behind this (laughs slightly). Be hungry enough for achieving your goals that you let nothing or no one stand in your way. Period.

#14 | Inner Critic

Every great man and woman whose ever walked the earth, have had in one way or another gone against the grain and the limitations placed on them, often due to social class, race, gender, belief or age. As with every journey, it all starts with taking that first step. So let’s challenge US to stop believing what you see and start seeing what you believe! Only once you start seeing, you will become more aware of what’s valuable to you on your journey and what’s hazardous.

We all have an inner voice that speaks to us. Some speak louder than others, but there’s a voice inside each one of us that stands by, ready to demean and undermine are dreams. Before even applying for that job role, their mind has already talked them out of it. “You’re not experienced enough”, “that salaries too high”. On the contrary there’s a inner cheerleader who encourages you, pushing you towards your best. Training your inner voice to be your best support will change your life.

Living the life of your dreams only starts when you take action – what leads to that action depends on which voice you decide to listen to.

The mind is a powerful tool. It can either be an enemy to progression and achievement or our cheerleader. If you can control your thoughts you can take control and be successful in every area of life. We have all experienced negative comments or been influenced by has people have treated us or made us feel in the past when self-doubt creeps up, don’t ignore it, hear it out then kick it out! It might be something said to you in your childhood, by a parent or boss, friend or a stranger. Or experiencing rejection, betrayal or abuse. Whatever it is, it has shaped the way you see yourself and your abilities. Get to the root of it and uproot it. You can only get rid of a squatter once you’ve identified who they are. Having a voice inside constantly telling you “you can’t” makes it difficult to move forward. Tell your inner voice who you are and learn the new you. Silence the unproductive voices of the past. You have achieved things in the past, why would now be any difference? Choose thoughts that support your goals and the person you want to become will be easier to action. If your thoughts are helping you to get to where you want to be, it’s time to listen to them.

Learn to become more aware of the leading voice in your life. What is it telling you about you? Is it working with you or against you? Am I living a life based on the voices of my past? Am I limiting myself due to my inner critic?

#13| Catch Me Outside!

There’s nothing guaranteed to stay the same in life, every day brings change. The life you lived 5 years ago isn’t the same life you’re living today. Whether it’s a change in relationships, finances, work life, your values or health. Things over time will always change. Change is inevitable, we can’t run from it, we must merely learn to embrace it and make the most of the moment. When things change in our environment, our brain switches into fight or flight mode. This a natural built in human instinct that is very useful when used in the right scenario. For example, if a lion was running at us, our fight or flight mode would allow us to react quickly. Used in the wrong scenario, we’d continue to live a reactive life. It only takes a moment to consider our response to a situation and ensure a totally different outcome. Have your ever been cut up on the road by another driver. If yes, how did you react or respond to it? Did you shout catch me outside!? The person who cut you up might not even know that they had done it. They will carry on with their life not giving a second thought to what had happened. You on the other hand reacting to the situation are left upset and allow a moment of your life to potentially shape and ruin your day, killing your joy, peace and enthusiasm.

Humans are very territorial, we like to guard and own our space. Just watch people’s faces on the bus when they have to move their bag to allow someone to sit there. It’s as though someone’s asked them to get off and walk. The moment the person sat in that seat, that space became theirs, even if only for a few minutes. We like to mark our space, “I was ere” was written on table tops and walls when I was at school. We like to be in control of our environment. When anything happens in our environment or disrupts our harmony and routine, it causes us to feel uneasy, uncomfortable and somewhat threatened. Whether if it’s someone cutting us up or something happening within our family that has affected our world. We can either react to the changes in life or respond to them. We can either be a victim of our environment or a master of it. We can’t stop change that’s happening around us, but you can control the way it affects us. Reacting makes what’s going on around us feel like we have no control of our feelings, whereas responding puts us in control of our emotions and feelings. Often we react to situations in life without thinking about the actions we decide to live out.

Whenever change occurs, our environment changes or we’re made to feel threatened or uneasy. Before we take action, we must make sure we stay in charge of the situation, our emotions and feelings. Ask yourself, what’s the best thing for me to do in this moment? What’s the best way for me to feel at this moment? Don’t allow anyone or external events take charge of your life, you are in control!